Pregnancy fear

When we decided to start trying for baby number 2, I was convinced that this pregnancy I wouldn't be as afraid. I thought since I've been through it once that I would know what to expect and that everything would be sunshine and roses.

I. WAS. WRONG.

Write that down. I don't say that very often, haha.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been terrified. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I am scared of everything. I think it is because it took so long to get pregnant with our first, but this time I got pregnant the first month of trying. This makes me feel like it's too good to be true, but I know that God is in control and I have to keep the faith in him. It's hard though, sometimes.

Every time Bailee kicks or plays on me or pushes on my belly, I instantly get terrified. Every little pain, every sneeze, every cough, every little thing scares me. I hate that. I was like this was Bailee too, but I really thought it would go away with a second pregnancy. I know that once I can feel movement and I have a distinctive baby bump that I will feel better and I will relax more.

I had the Harmony test done at 10 weeks, and I'm still waiting for the results of that. It will tell me the chances of the baby having birth defects, and it will also tell me the gender. I really am impressed with technology and the fact that they can tell the gender so early now. This has nothing to do with my pregnancy fears, but I am anxious to get the results!

Anyway, today I am 13 weeks and that means I am now in my second trimester. This came with some relief, because risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced and it also means I am closer to feeling kicks and seeing my belly grow. These are the most reassuring feelings in all of pregnancy, in my opinion. Hearing the heartbeat is also really awesome ,and so are the ultrasounds!!

I'm sure there are other moms out there who have these same fears as I do, so I thought I would share my struggles.