To my army of dads,

I have spent a lot of time wondering why my dad did not think I was good enough. Why did he never find the time for me? Why did I spend so many hours waiting for him, and he never showed? It turns out, he's the one that missed out. I did not miss out. I spent years searching crowded rooms wondering if he was going to show up this time. Looking back, I should have been paying closer attention to the ones who were there.

So, this is for you. This is for the men that stayed. This is for the men that I overlooked and mistreated along the way, because I was only looking for my "dad".  Looking back, I realize that I did not have one man that did all of the "dad' stuff, I had a whole dad army! So, thank you, dad army!

Uncle Ben- Thank you for every single thing you've done for me. I spent a lot of time wondering why Kelsey got so lucky to have a daddy like you. What I did not realize is that you treated me like your own daughter, too. Thank you for taking me to the circus and the carnival and the rodeo. Thank you for taking me out to dinner with your family, and for taking me to sign up for softball (even though I was horrible and it didn't last lol). Thank you for loving my daughters like your own grandchildren.

Uncle Dave- Thank you for being the only person I would let take out my splinters. Thank you for changing my earrings, and for always coming to my school performances. Thank you for being my safe place. Thank you for going on vacations with me and Alex and thank you for always bringing my girls a little surprise when you come to see us. Thank you for all of the laughs, memories, and love that you've given me.

Uncle Ed- Thank you for making me laugh every single time I saw you. Thank you for teaching me to dance like no one was watching, and for always reminding me how smart I am. I wish so much that you could be here today. I miss you so much, and I love you tremendously.

Uncle Gene- Thank you for teaching me to drive, and not letting me get by with being anything but great.

Uncle Chris- Thank you for always challenging me. If I didn't have you to argue with all those years, I may not be the expert arguer that I am today (LOL)!

Andrew- I can't write a post about the men in my life and forget about the first baby that stole my heart. Andrew Shane, thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me love you like my own baby even though I was still a baby myself. Thank you for always smiling and being a light for me in this world. I am so proud of you.

Papaw- There are not enough words in the English language to properly thank you. You are my number one man. You are the rock of this family, and the man I look up to the most. No matter what I have ever done, you have been proud of me and loved me. Thank you for Sunday dinners, and never getting mad at me when I didn't clean my plate. Thank you for stern lectures and loving glances. Thank you for showing me what true love looks like. Thank you for loving my mamaw so much that it was contagious. I love you so much.

Brandon- Every little girl needs a big brother to watch out for her. Thank you for taking on the role of my protector. Thank you for always being a shoulder to cry on, and for always being willing to scare the crap out of any boy that looked at me. Thank you for never judging me and always being there to lend an ear. Thank you for being the one that scared Alex when we started dating, but accepted him with open arms when you saw how wonderful he is. Thank you for everything.

Bob- Thank you for loving a woman who already had two kids and not even thinking twice about it. Thank you for loving me like your own daughter, and never making me feel any less. Thank you for taking on the role that my "real dad" could not handle, and thank you for never making it look like a hard task. Thank you for never getting angry with me when I went on my teenage drama-filled hissy fits, and thank you for protecting me. Thank you for tucking me in at night and for helping me with me homework. You deserve the title of dad.

Andy- Thank you for accepting me as your daughter when I married your son. Thank you for always going above and beyond for me, and thank you for being an example of what a dad should be. Thank you for gushing over every meal I make like it was the best thing you've ever eaten. Thank you for always showing up and for always being happy to be there. Thank you for all that you do.

Jonathan- Thank you for changing. Thank you for showing me that men are capable of change. Thank you for becoming a better man, and thank you for becoming my friend and my brother.


Alex- The biggest thank you of all goes to you. Thank you for loving a broken girl and staying with her as it carried into being a broken woman. Thank you for accepting the issues that I have and loving me through them. Thank you for being the best daddy in the whole world to our little girls. Thank you for holding me as I cried over "dad" and reminding me what I am worth. Thank you for always picking me up when I start to fall, and thank you for holding me until I can stand on my own again. It's not easy to love a woman with "daddy issues" but you never make it seem like a chore. You are my biggest blessing. I love you so much.



Tony, "dad" - Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for giving me a sister, and thank you for making me realize my strength. I hope some day you find yourself.





Sincerely,
Steph

My latest obsession: Ebates!

So, anyone that knows me knows that I love to find  bargain and save a dollar! I've heard of ebates.com many times before, and I even joined the site in 2012. However, I never actually used the site until yesterday. My husband and I are in the processing of buying and remodeling a single wide mobile home, so we are buying a lot of things for the house. I decided to give ebates a try, and I used it to purchase a hood range from Sears.com. Not only did I score a hood range for $10 cheaper than I would have in another store, but I also got $1.95 in cash back on ebates and I earn Shop Your Way points toward my next purchase! I'm now obsessed. I'm not a big online shopper, but this site is perfect for shopping for things that you don't want to look for in the store. Getting paid to shop is awesome!

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=vVuANP0S7dyylf7p1gYbcQ%3D%3D

If you follow the code above, you can join ebates! It's quick and easy and totally worth it!

But, I read all the books!

When I was pregnant with Bailee, I was obsessed with reading books and I had like 4 apps on my phone to tell me what to do or not to do. They told me what to expect, and guess what? I still wasn't ready! The first night home Bailee projectile spit up in my face, and then wouldn't sleep unless she was on Alex's chest. The books didn't warn me about that! Bailee was and is still not a by-the-book baby!

Those books and apps tell you how your baby is growing and they give you advice and statistics, but your baby comes out unique and different. All those tips and tricks for soothing a fussy baby; they may not work for your baby. I remember standing in front of the TV from 1am-3am for weeks straight as a newborn Bailee screamed in my arm. I bounced, rocked, sang, danced, and eventually cried. 

I did, however, learn to soothe her without worrying how other people soothe their babies. I soothed her by following my mommy instincts. Her favorite lullaby is "Jesus Loves Me" and she liked to be bounced while her butt was being patted.

Now that I'm pregnant again, I have 2 apps and no books. I have one app to store my bump pictures and track her growing progress and one to share with my Facebook page about her growth. Oh, and yes it is another girl!! :) I was so caught up with making sure I knew what to expect with Bailee, but I feel like a Luvs commercial this time around. I'll be just as protective and paranoid, but I'll be prepared. 

13 week appointment!

Today I had my 13 week appointment! I have lost 2 pounds, but my doctor said that's normal and even good for me. My labs are all looking good, and my thyroid level was back to normal! 

I had been super worried about the thyroid levels, so I was really happy to hear that it was back to normal! I'm glad that they won't have to up my medicine! After checking my weight and peeing in the cup (oh the joy lol), I asked about my harmony results! 

The nurse said they were in and that the doctor would tell me about them. I asked her to tell me the gender so I could know and tell my husband before my mom and his mom heard it! I cannot wait to spill the beans this evening and announce what we're having!!!

After that, the doctor came in and let his intern find the baby's heartbeat! It's the most beautiful sound ever!! He's really happy with my progress, and I go back in 4 weeks for the anatomy scan! I also go back in 2 weeks for another blood test to check for some kind of disorder. 

I'm so relieved that everything is normal and that we know what we're having! :)

Pregnancy fear

When we decided to start trying for baby number 2, I was convinced that this pregnancy I wouldn't be as afraid. I thought since I've been through it once that I would know what to expect and that everything would be sunshine and roses.

I. WAS. WRONG.

Write that down. I don't say that very often, haha.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been terrified. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I am scared of everything. I think it is because it took so long to get pregnant with our first, but this time I got pregnant the first month of trying. This makes me feel like it's too good to be true, but I know that God is in control and I have to keep the faith in him. It's hard though, sometimes.

Every time Bailee kicks or plays on me or pushes on my belly, I instantly get terrified. Every little pain, every sneeze, every cough, every little thing scares me. I hate that. I was like this was Bailee too, but I really thought it would go away with a second pregnancy. I know that once I can feel movement and I have a distinctive baby bump that I will feel better and I will relax more.

I had the Harmony test done at 10 weeks, and I'm still waiting for the results of that. It will tell me the chances of the baby having birth defects, and it will also tell me the gender. I really am impressed with technology and the fact that they can tell the gender so early now. This has nothing to do with my pregnancy fears, but I am anxious to get the results!

Anyway, today I am 13 weeks and that means I am now in my second trimester. This came with some relief, because risk of miscarriage is greatly reduced and it also means I am closer to feeling kicks and seeing my belly grow. These are the most reassuring feelings in all of pregnancy, in my opinion. Hearing the heartbeat is also really awesome ,and so are the ultrasounds!!

I'm sure there are other moms out there who have these same fears as I do, so I thought I would share my struggles.

Burrito night

My husband and I have a new found love for Qdoba, so we decided to give burritos a try at home.

I found a recipe on Pinterest for how to make the chicken in the crock pot.

Here's a link to the original post! http://thefrugalgirls.com/2012/10/crockpot-qdoba-recipes.html

1-packet taco seasoning

1- carton of chicken broth

1- lb of chicken 

Put the chicken in the crock pot and top it with the seasoning packet

Next, pour the chicken broth over the chicken

Then, cook on low for 4 hours (if chicken is thawed). Or cook on low for 8 hours for frozen chicken. 

Once the chicken is done, shred it with a fork. Get your toppings together and tortillas and assemble your burrito. I added rice, black beans, cheese, sour cream, and Taco Bell mild sauce.

My only complaint for this meal is that the chicken didn't pick up the taco seasoning very well. I think by adding a second seasoning packet or less broth this could be fixed. The rice I used was $1 from walmart; it's Knorr rice sides.

My husband is a very picky eater, but he came back for thirds on this meal! My 15 month old loved the beans and rice, and I enjoyed 2 burritos myself! 

My favorite Christmas gift

I was racking my brain trying to think of something new and different to blog about. I don't want to bore my readers, and I also want to expand my base. So, today's blog will be about the holidays. 

This was the first year in a long time that I didn't want anything for Christmas. I told my mom to get me useful things like appliances. She nailed it and got me a deep fryer and a 3 pot crock pot! Alex (my husband) kept asking me what I wanted, but I just didn't want anything. My desire was the give Bailee the greatest Christmas, and we did. She got way more than she needed, and I'm thankful for that.

When I opened my gifts from Alex, I was so pleased. A new purse and perfume from my favorite designer (Betsey Johnson), a pair of coach shoes, some smelly good lotion, and then the box he wouldn't let me open til last. I had absolutely no idea of what it could have been.

When I opened it, I immediately began to cry. He had ordered custom nesting dolls for me. It was him, then me, then our nephew, then Bailee, and then 3 blanks for future babies. Now, you're probably wondering why that would make me cry.

My grandfather's mom, my mamaw Beulah, was a part of my life for a very long time. I was young when she died, but old enough to remember her. My favorite memory was when I would go to her house and play with her Russian nesting dolls while she cooked. Every time I see nesting dolls, I get emotional because it takes me back to those memories. 

We all have gifts that we love and cherish, but those nesting dolls are my favorite. What is a meaningful gift that you have received?